so anxious about my summer plans -- everything is so completely tenuous. have no idea what i'll be doing, nothing seems to be working out at all -- my adviser advised me to spend the summer "hanging out" so that i'm "not so strung out all the time." i wish it were that simple. i wish i could statisfy everyone, satisfy myself to make that happen. i want to take a class but it'd be ~4 grand, and i don't even remotely have access to that kind of bank. i'm so grateful to my parents for helping me out all the time, whenever i need money, i always get it -- my mom always helps me out, so it just seems wrong to ask for more. this entire semester, these past 4 months have been a fucking daily struggle -- i've lived each day on the brink of unravelling completely -- where's my fucking award?
something decent, please happen.